Driven by Stress

Have I ever told you before? I am a stress-driven person. I strive on stress to be productive. Hahaha.

Really stress out this exams. I was not feeling well the day before the exam and I couldn't even concentrate on my revision. Then on the exam day today, it turned out to be one of the hardest paper I ever taken in Poly!!! Argh!!! Hopefully I wouldn't do too badly.

I was so irritable since yesterday, almost anyone or anything can just piss me off. Which is why I choose to be alone but I ultimately shared my stress with a friend I can trust, Cinthia (cuz she happen to study in the same school so we could meet up), and I got to say I am sorry to her for putting up with my irritablilty and outburst (even thou she said I look "OK" when I burst out).

Always got to put on a smiley mask you see. Even thou you can be angry or stress or easily irritable at that period of time, you can't just go around screaming and scolding everyone on your way. People will just think you are crazy, and probably will never come near you again for the rest of your life.

Thank God for close friends whom allow you to put away that mask. Had shared both my happiness and woes with Briony and Cinthia, and of course with God. Indeed like Cinthia said, hiding your emotion too often is going to hurt yourself. So I don't intend to. Hahaha.

Anyway, as stress as I was, I can still put on a smile to most of my other friends. And I do strive on stress! Today is the 4th time I played the guitar for CG meeting, in fact, I was still pretty stress out but I just happen to be most satisfied with my guitar today! Hahaha.

Compared to the past few times, today's guitar was so much better, no sudden speed up or changing my pentrum on the last minute. My CGL actually allowed the praise and worship to be much longer today, allowing me to enjoy the presence of God as I played the guitar. I closed my eyes and forget about my exams, sing and strum and start rocking my body with the rhythm. The atmosphere was so good, the presence of God is soaking my every being, I prophesied by singing 2 times today. God is good. Hahaha.