Oh wells... attachment at CDC is still just as boring. But I am reaching out to my fellow students and one of them is considering to come for Christmas Service this Sunday!!!
Briony called and asked if there's bible study today. We were quite confused but I remembered the bible study teacher said there will not be bible study this week so I told her no.
However, Briony called again and said her CGL said there's bible study today!!! I was pretty shock and I quickly went to sms my leader to ask him. He later called and asked me who was the teacher who said there is no bible study this week... I hope I didn't get that teacher into trouble...
OK. Before bible study, I went to shop for Christmas gift on my own. Went on a shopping spree after I found out that I got my pay today. Hahaha. I also bought 2 new tees from Samuel & Kevin at 2 for $22! (One for myself and one for a friend.) Cheap cheap. Hahaha.
So sad thou, I couldn't find the long sleeve, laced collar maroon tee that I like at Plaza Singapura and Orchard Samuel & Kevin... It's selling at $24 after discount I think... I saw it at the Suntec Outlet last week but didn't have the money to get it. Hope it isn't out of stock... really wanna get a long sleeve tee cuz I already have a long of short sleeve tees. No time to shop for this week anymore. Oh wells...
After bible study, I went to shop with Briony to get more gifts for friends. Briony was on a beverage fast so I made sure we have something to drink before we leave for home.
Peishan also called me to ask about guitar lesson today. So happy that she is excited to learn guitar. Hahaha. Probably will meet her this Saturday to teach her. She just Got her first handphone last night, a LG G262!!! It cost $300++ with contract! It even have a 1.3 megapix camera. WOW! Hahaha. I still remember my first phone is a Nokia 3210. That's 6 years back I think. Hahaha. Also happen to find out her birthday is on the 25th DEC!!! A Christmas baby!
Later talked to Cinthia. She just came back from her camp and I was pretty happy to hear her again, thou she is a little tired. She shared quite a lot about her camp and it sounded pretty fun. Except for a few spoilers "Air" level students from Allied Health who think they very smart. All in all, I am glad she enjoyed herself in this camp. :)
As for me... still not feeling so well with my tummy. It seems ok this morning but it started to rumble in the afternoon. But I think I am better compare to yesterday. I only shit once today, with watery stools while I shited 4 times yesterday. God is good.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Dying of Boredom
I wonder what did I eat. Had diarrhea the whole day. Was forced to take medication and thus have to end my 24 hours fast, but still, I manage a 12 hours fast. Hope I get better tomorrow.
Anyway, the posting to CDC is so BORING! There is literally nothing much to do, unlike the busy hospital. Most of the patients in CDC are pretty independent.
Since CDC is meant to isolate communicable dieases, most of the beds are also empty. (It will only be busy if there is an outbreak. The recent dengue outbreak is ending.) Me and another student literally spent 3/4 of our shift sitting around, chatting, reading case notes, reading the newspaper... and it is just so difficult to past time!!!
Ok. 1 and a half more weeks to go. Thank goodness we will only be attached to CDC for 2 weeks throughout the 3 years of our course.
By the way, I just undated BBC UNreal! yesterday. I also updated my wishlist on the sidebar. :)
Anyway, the posting to CDC is so BORING! There is literally nothing much to do, unlike the busy hospital. Most of the patients in CDC are pretty independent.
Since CDC is meant to isolate communicable dieases, most of the beds are also empty. (It will only be busy if there is an outbreak. The recent dengue outbreak is ending.) Me and another student literally spent 3/4 of our shift sitting around, chatting, reading case notes, reading the newspaper... and it is just so difficult to past time!!!
Ok. 1 and a half more weeks to go. Thank goodness we will only be attached to CDC for 2 weeks throughout the 3 years of our course.
By the way, I just undated BBC UNreal! yesterday. I also updated my wishlist on the sidebar. :)
Monday, December 19, 2005
Disappointment to Depression.
Just wanna share what Pastor talked about on Sunday:
A person can progress from disappointment to distress to doubt to depression. I can literally see that in myself. It all happened for nearly one whole year before it progress to depression the past two weeks.
First of all, cell group wasn't doing well and I somehow thought I shouldn't say about such things nor concern to anyone because I thought that's wrong. I was in denial and spoke about cell group as if "everything's fine".
Finally, Two weeks ago, I told Irene everything and start to "discipline" my members. However, I kinda doubt if telling the truth will help, what if more members backslide?
I then become a jerk and start getting piss off at the slightlest "mistakes" my friends did. I wanna take the opportunity to say sorry once again to all whom I have offended over these past few months of my raging anger and distress.
So to say just last week, I seems to lose everything. My CG will merge and will no longer exist. My ministry as a CG guitarist will also cease... I lost the passion to serve in any minisrty, even to learn the guitar...
However, Pastor really preach a word in season into my life and I realise that even the man of God can fall into depression, much less I! So knowing that it is nothing to be ashamed of, I pick myself up once again and found God strengthening my spirit. God is good.
It turn out the merger wasn't so bad after all. The CG that we merge had very out-going members who love to fellowship. They are also very active in their spiritual life and reaching out to the lost. Perhaps, my members can finally have a new lease of life in their walk with God. God is good.
So with the new year, I am glad that I decided not to end the year with depression. (YES! I believe it is a decision to be happy.)
I pray and hope that a certain friend of mine may also overcome all the blues this friend have for this year. May this friend find joy once again in the fellowship with believers and a rekindled passion to serve God even more.
So to kick off the new year, I also did some tinking to my blog. Hahaha. The most obvious is the removal of comments and the addition of a CBox! Be sure to tag!!! Feel free to comment on any of my post on the CBox too. OR, you can simply tag for fun or to make reminders on the CBox. Dun limit yourself if God doesn't limit you. Hahaha.
A person can progress from disappointment to distress to doubt to depression. I can literally see that in myself. It all happened for nearly one whole year before it progress to depression the past two weeks.
First of all, cell group wasn't doing well and I somehow thought I shouldn't say about such things nor concern to anyone because I thought that's wrong. I was in denial and spoke about cell group as if "everything's fine".
Finally, Two weeks ago, I told Irene everything and start to "discipline" my members. However, I kinda doubt if telling the truth will help, what if more members backslide?
I then become a jerk and start getting piss off at the slightlest "mistakes" my friends did. I wanna take the opportunity to say sorry once again to all whom I have offended over these past few months of my raging anger and distress.
So to say just last week, I seems to lose everything. My CG will merge and will no longer exist. My ministry as a CG guitarist will also cease... I lost the passion to serve in any minisrty, even to learn the guitar...
However, Pastor really preach a word in season into my life and I realise that even the man of God can fall into depression, much less I! So knowing that it is nothing to be ashamed of, I pick myself up once again and found God strengthening my spirit. God is good.
It turn out the merger wasn't so bad after all. The CG that we merge had very out-going members who love to fellowship. They are also very active in their spiritual life and reaching out to the lost. Perhaps, my members can finally have a new lease of life in their walk with God. God is good.
So with the new year, I am glad that I decided not to end the year with depression. (YES! I believe it is a decision to be happy.)
I pray and hope that a certain friend of mine may also overcome all the blues this friend have for this year. May this friend find joy once again in the fellowship with believers and a rekindled passion to serve God even more.
So to kick off the new year, I also did some tinking to my blog. Hahaha. The most obvious is the removal of comments and the addition of a CBox! Be sure to tag!!! Feel free to comment on any of my post on the CBox too. OR, you can simply tag for fun or to make reminders on the CBox. Dun limit yourself if God doesn't limit you. Hahaha.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
About How I Feel Towards Nursing.
I did a last office today for one of my patient. Saw him breathed his last before my very eyes.
It was a sad feeling, not because this patient had always being under my care, but just mourning for the loss of a human life.
As a nurse, we must always understand that, all patient has the potential to die. I am no longer surprise at anything anymore. Anything can happen. It is not about being dead to your emotional when something happen. It is about having your emotion under control so that it may not affect your work when you are feeling sad or angry.
Any Tom, Dick and Harry can clean shit after a patient or write reports. Anyone can take the body temperature or blood pressure when trained. Anyone can learn good communication skills or mix around with everyone. And I mean ANYONE can be a nurse.
However, only a person who value human lives can be a good nurse. Only someone who have emotions and know how to control it can be a good nurse.
That is also the reason why I am interested in palliative care. It is one thing to be optimistic about recovering. It is another thing... to know you are dying.
What are the thoughts that go thru a person's mind when he is dying? What are the pains he is suffering? How does the quality of life differ from a AIDs patient and a cancer patient? How does palliative care differ in taking care of young patient and to older patients? It is interesting isn't it? (Maybe for me. Hahaha.)
It was a sad feeling, not because this patient had always being under my care, but just mourning for the loss of a human life.
As a nurse, we must always understand that, all patient has the potential to die. I am no longer surprise at anything anymore. Anything can happen. It is not about being dead to your emotional when something happen. It is about having your emotion under control so that it may not affect your work when you are feeling sad or angry.
Any Tom, Dick and Harry can clean shit after a patient or write reports. Anyone can take the body temperature or blood pressure when trained. Anyone can learn good communication skills or mix around with everyone. And I mean ANYONE can be a nurse.
However, only a person who value human lives can be a good nurse. Only someone who have emotions and know how to control it can be a good nurse.
That is also the reason why I am interested in palliative care. It is one thing to be optimistic about recovering. It is another thing... to know you are dying.
What are the thoughts that go thru a person's mind when he is dying? What are the pains he is suffering? How does the quality of life differ from a AIDs patient and a cancer patient? How does palliative care differ in taking care of young patient and to older patients? It is interesting isn't it? (Maybe for me. Hahaha.)
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
I have being "sleeping around"...
I got a confession to make. I have being "sleeping around". In the bus, in the MRT, in the staff room in the hospital and even at the bus stop while waiting for the bus this whole week.
MAN!!! I am sooo tired!!! Hahaha.
Just today, I woke up a bit later just to catch a little more sleep. However, I end up not having time for breakfast.
I work like crazy in the hospital today and just when I thought I can go for my break at 10plus, something crop up and I got to attend to it. Almost got knocked out as I felt light-headed. Finally went for my break at 1140pm. I also twisted my right knee as I help to shift a patient. Ouch. To tired to postion myself properly.
After work, I met Cinthia and went to Ikea (It rhymes!) I was looking for fix-it-yourself shower screen to replace that damaged door in the master bedroom's bathroom. It's pretty affordable, I shall get it after discussing with my mum. Cinthia also bought a pack of straws for her dad, for one of those emergency cases.
Later, we went to eat at the Ikea restaurant. Ordered Swedish MEATBALLS! If you have yet to try it, you must go there and savor it! No wonder Pastor Kong loves the meatballs there! But I got to leave early for my bible study in town. Cinthia looked so sad, felt so bad for her.
BS is pretty good. Learnt about God's plan for the Churches. If you wanna find out more, PESTER your CGL to quickly finish up your BS and come to Authority For Believer. Hahaha.
Later, I went to shop with Briony for Christmas gift. We went all around City Hall and Suntec City. It is so fun yet so tiring!!! I hurt my heel (the left one) again... But I was laughing so heartily and it was great! Haven't being laughing so much for such a long time and it does feel good. Hahaha. But I was so so so tired I doze off in the MRT after talking to Sjeting on the phone.
As for Sjeting... Do pray for her. Her uncle who is very close to her passed away yesterday.
So something I learn.
Shopping is one great form of exercise. It keeps your brain active as you try to be creative with your purchase. It helps you burn calories with all the walking. No wonder ladies who shop a lot are so slim!!! (No wonder it is never "cheap" to lose weight. :P )
So... now my left heel hurts... and so is my right knee... and I feel like I will "die" on my bed soon. But I still enjoy myself today. :) God is Good.
MAN!!! I am sooo tired!!! Hahaha.
Just today, I woke up a bit later just to catch a little more sleep. However, I end up not having time for breakfast.
I work like crazy in the hospital today and just when I thought I can go for my break at 10plus, something crop up and I got to attend to it. Almost got knocked out as I felt light-headed. Finally went for my break at 1140pm. I also twisted my right knee as I help to shift a patient. Ouch. To tired to postion myself properly.
After work, I met Cinthia and went to Ikea (It rhymes!) I was looking for fix-it-yourself shower screen to replace that damaged door in the master bedroom's bathroom. It's pretty affordable, I shall get it after discussing with my mum. Cinthia also bought a pack of straws for her dad, for one of those emergency cases.
Later, we went to eat at the Ikea restaurant. Ordered Swedish MEATBALLS! If you have yet to try it, you must go there and savor it! No wonder Pastor Kong loves the meatballs there! But I got to leave early for my bible study in town. Cinthia looked so sad, felt so bad for her.
BS is pretty good. Learnt about God's plan for the Churches. If you wanna find out more, PESTER your CGL to quickly finish up your BS and come to Authority For Believer. Hahaha.
Later, I went to shop with Briony for Christmas gift. We went all around City Hall and Suntec City. It is so fun yet so tiring!!! I hurt my heel (the left one) again... But I was laughing so heartily and it was great! Haven't being laughing so much for such a long time and it does feel good. Hahaha. But I was so so so tired I doze off in the MRT after talking to Sjeting on the phone.
As for Sjeting... Do pray for her. Her uncle who is very close to her passed away yesterday.
So something I learn.
Shopping is one great form of exercise. It keeps your brain active as you try to be creative with your purchase. It helps you burn calories with all the walking. No wonder ladies who shop a lot are so slim!!! (No wonder it is never "cheap" to lose weight. :P )
So... now my left heel hurts... and so is my right knee... and I feel like I will "die" on my bed soon. But I still enjoy myself today. :) God is Good.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
About Me.
A few things about me. Hahaha.
1. When I am down, I like someone to be beside me and not leave me alone. But that person must be someone close. I will shoo away any Tom Dick or Harry that try to get flesh with me. Hahaha.
2. When I am happy, I like the whole world to celebrate with me.
3. I prefer a call over the phone then sms. I am a talkative person. The opportunity to open my mouth to talk is a great blessing for me. Hahaha.
4. I will shower twice a day.
5. I like to shit at least once a day. Help me to lose that 500g of body weight.
6. I may take up to 30mins to dress up. That include doing my hair, choosing my clothes and shoes and watches. (I have quite a few of them, aren't I vain? Hahaha.)
7. I shave my armpit hair. I believe untamed armpit hair is the cause of many BO out there. If you ever feel people are avoiding you, try shaving your armpit hair. Men in ancient Egypt do shave their body hair because of the heat and to prevent BO.
8. If someone ever piss me off real badly, I will wish for revenge. But when the opportunity for revenge come, I will end up blessing and protecting that person. Maybe I am too merciful, or maybe I thought this is a better way to "put hot coals on their head". Hahaha.
1. When I am down, I like someone to be beside me and not leave me alone. But that person must be someone close. I will shoo away any Tom Dick or Harry that try to get flesh with me. Hahaha.
2. When I am happy, I like the whole world to celebrate with me.
3. I prefer a call over the phone then sms. I am a talkative person. The opportunity to open my mouth to talk is a great blessing for me. Hahaha.
4. I will shower twice a day.
5. I like to shit at least once a day. Help me to lose that 500g of body weight.
6. I may take up to 30mins to dress up. That include doing my hair, choosing my clothes and shoes and watches. (I have quite a few of them, aren't I vain? Hahaha.)
7. I shave my armpit hair. I believe untamed armpit hair is the cause of many BO out there. If you ever feel people are avoiding you, try shaving your armpit hair. Men in ancient Egypt do shave their body hair because of the heat and to prevent BO.
8. If someone ever piss me off real badly, I will wish for revenge. But when the opportunity for revenge come, I will end up blessing and protecting that person. Maybe I am too merciful, or maybe I thought this is a better way to "put hot coals on their head". Hahaha.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
1st Service at Expo!!! + few issues to settle.
1st of all, tmr is Sandy's Birthday so wanna say
Happy Birthday Sandy!!!
Wish you all the best in your walk with God. May you prosper in your studies, in your relationship and everything you do!!!
Ok, service today is super long but it is also super GOOD! hahaha. Pastor shared about fear and the love of God.
Learned today that "Abba" is a very intimate term of calling father. Like calling "daddy". I believe I had a breakthrough today as memories of the good things my earthly dad did for me flash through my mind.
One particular incident was when my dad drove me to the hospital because I had a really high fever. I remembered my dad was really worried and he was speeding. I can still remember how I felt, very wretched, very sick and tears kept flowing down my eyes as the fever got higher and higher.
Then I begin to call God "Di" (as in dad-"dy"), the intimate way I used to call my earthly father and tears start to flow down my eyes. I begin to understand God as my loving Father even more today.
Went to fellowship with Brother Meng Chin CG today, pretty fun and got to know more people. However, I didn't join them for too long as I felt really tired. As I reach home, I was feeling headache, a bit nausea and I can't even really keep my eyes open.
Not really being in the best of health lately. Makes me pretty impatient so I hope all my friends will understand.
I really wanna talk about this.
I "scolded" my members for being late today. Got to wait for everyone. I decided to be a "lion" today nonetheless. But still, I feel my tone and my words are far from being a lion. I remembered the days I will ROAR at my members for doing brainless things right in church. I felt I am too much of a lamb these days le. Got to balance out, gotta be more like a lion also. I told off my members with a smile!!! Can you imagine that!
Please if you are reading my blog. Don't ever be late for CG or SVC again. You are not just wasting my time and the time of the people who reach early to book seats but also the CGL's time. Do you know our whole CG is late and Brother Meng Chin's CG members are booking seats for us? Do I have to keep repeating myself, "Don't be late!"
And I always see the same few people being late. Excuses like "The bus was delayed" is REALLY LAME to answer why you can be late for 40MINS! What's worse today? The whole CG is LATE!
Is it because I am always smiling that everyone thinks it is OK since I will not get angry? Or is it because Irene is too soft and you think because she will not scold or she will not be able to stop you that's why everyone dun bother? Or somehow, did you got into some doctrine that you can keep sinning by breaking your time promises because God's grace have given you the right to keep sinnning?
When you are late, you are also telling God He is not important by not turning up on time. This is the church, the house of the Almighty King, Lord of Host.
Our church called
CITY HARVEST CHURCH. Not CITY HARVEST HOTEL.
God is called
FATHER GOD, not RECEPTIONIST.
JESUS CHRIST, not BELL BOY.
HOLY SPIRIT, not ROOM SERVICE.
Please pull up your act. I still love all of you. I don't shout nor frown but it doesn't mean I am not angry. Please pray for one another, pray specifically for everyone. CG is not doing well, but what are we doing about it? Do you really want it to be disbanded? Or maybe you wanna be like a few who choose to backslide? Or why keep saying about how other members are not doing well and make it seems like YOU ARE DOING VERY WELL? The bible says,
Matthew 7:13
"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?"
If all we have is just 4 or 5 people now and we can't even learn to love and unite one another, what makes you think we can contain 6, 7, 8 or more people?
Backsliders, I still love you all. I hope the grace of God still be with you. If not all of you but just one of you can come back and believe together once again, God can still revive a dead dream and turn it into a reality. Remember how we once multiplied into two CGs. Remember how we used to be so on fire to reach out to our friends. Remember how we always stay around to fellowship. Remember how excited we were when we joined a ministry and how proud we were when we are on duty?
How come a mere "O" level, exams, attachments or other worldly things could cause you to decide to leave a God who had suffered, beaten, humiliated and died on the cross for the sins of you and I? Remember how you shared testimonies on how God blessed you in your finances, in your studies, in your relationships?
The bible says:
Proverbs 23:13
"Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die."
Proverbs 29:15
"The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."
I say all these because I love all of you enough to say it. All of us have a part to play to make the CG grow and to sharpen one another. We need each other to pray for one another, to care for one another and to love one another. Including me. I feel I need to do even more from today onwards.
Please pray for my health. I had being saying that I am tired since last week and this is what really makes me tired about but I am not going to give up anytime soon. I pray none of you will give up easily too.
God bless you. May the peace of God that surpass all understanding rest on you. May God gives you strength to keep fighting the good fight of faith. Amen.
Happy Birthday Sandy!!!
Wish you all the best in your walk with God. May you prosper in your studies, in your relationship and everything you do!!!
Ok, service today is super long but it is also super GOOD! hahaha. Pastor shared about fear and the love of God.
Learned today that "Abba" is a very intimate term of calling father. Like calling "daddy". I believe I had a breakthrough today as memories of the good things my earthly dad did for me flash through my mind.
One particular incident was when my dad drove me to the hospital because I had a really high fever. I remembered my dad was really worried and he was speeding. I can still remember how I felt, very wretched, very sick and tears kept flowing down my eyes as the fever got higher and higher.
Then I begin to call God "Di" (as in dad-"dy"), the intimate way I used to call my earthly father and tears start to flow down my eyes. I begin to understand God as my loving Father even more today.
Went to fellowship with Brother Meng Chin CG today, pretty fun and got to know more people. However, I didn't join them for too long as I felt really tired. As I reach home, I was feeling headache, a bit nausea and I can't even really keep my eyes open.
Not really being in the best of health lately. Makes me pretty impatient so I hope all my friends will understand.
I really wanna talk about this.
I "scolded" my members for being late today. Got to wait for everyone. I decided to be a "lion" today nonetheless. But still, I feel my tone and my words are far from being a lion. I remembered the days I will ROAR at my members for doing brainless things right in church. I felt I am too much of a lamb these days le. Got to balance out, gotta be more like a lion also. I told off my members with a smile!!! Can you imagine that!
Please if you are reading my blog. Don't ever be late for CG or SVC again. You are not just wasting my time and the time of the people who reach early to book seats but also the CGL's time. Do you know our whole CG is late and Brother Meng Chin's CG members are booking seats for us? Do I have to keep repeating myself, "Don't be late!"
And I always see the same few people being late. Excuses like "The bus was delayed" is REALLY LAME to answer why you can be late for 40MINS! What's worse today? The whole CG is LATE!
Is it because I am always smiling that everyone thinks it is OK since I will not get angry? Or is it because Irene is too soft and you think because she will not scold or she will not be able to stop you that's why everyone dun bother? Or somehow, did you got into some doctrine that you can keep sinning by breaking your time promises because God's grace have given you the right to keep sinnning?
When you are late, you are also telling God He is not important by not turning up on time. This is the church, the house of the Almighty King, Lord of Host.
Our church called
CITY HARVEST CHURCH. Not CITY HARVEST HOTEL.
God is called
FATHER GOD, not RECEPTIONIST.
JESUS CHRIST, not BELL BOY.
HOLY SPIRIT, not ROOM SERVICE.
Please pull up your act. I still love all of you. I don't shout nor frown but it doesn't mean I am not angry. Please pray for one another, pray specifically for everyone. CG is not doing well, but what are we doing about it? Do you really want it to be disbanded? Or maybe you wanna be like a few who choose to backslide? Or why keep saying about how other members are not doing well and make it seems like YOU ARE DOING VERY WELL? The bible says,
Matthew 7:13
"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?"
If all we have is just 4 or 5 people now and we can't even learn to love and unite one another, what makes you think we can contain 6, 7, 8 or more people?
Backsliders, I still love you all. I hope the grace of God still be with you. If not all of you but just one of you can come back and believe together once again, God can still revive a dead dream and turn it into a reality. Remember how we once multiplied into two CGs. Remember how we used to be so on fire to reach out to our friends. Remember how we always stay around to fellowship. Remember how excited we were when we joined a ministry and how proud we were when we are on duty?
How come a mere "O" level, exams, attachments or other worldly things could cause you to decide to leave a God who had suffered, beaten, humiliated and died on the cross for the sins of you and I? Remember how you shared testimonies on how God blessed you in your finances, in your studies, in your relationships?
The bible says:
Proverbs 23:13
"Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die."
Proverbs 29:15
"The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."
I say all these because I love all of you enough to say it. All of us have a part to play to make the CG grow and to sharpen one another. We need each other to pray for one another, to care for one another and to love one another. Including me. I feel I need to do even more from today onwards.
Please pray for my health. I had being saying that I am tired since last week and this is what really makes me tired about but I am not going to give up anytime soon. I pray none of you will give up easily too.
God bless you. May the peace of God that surpass all understanding rest on you. May God gives you strength to keep fighting the good fight of faith. Amen.
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